Rituals

Coach Mel - RitualsI want to share with you the number one question that I get from people when I'm coaching them, and that is they always want to know what they should do first.

If rituals are the formulas by which harmony is restored, it's important that we start and end our day with positivity, energy and calmness in order to ground us and set our intention for the whole day.

The number one thing I tell people that want to know what they should do first, and want to improve their life, is I talk about bookending your day with you. The very first thing that you think about when you wake up in the morning is you, and the last thing you think about before you go to sleep at night is you. What do I mean by bookending your day? It's about creating space for you and setting your intentions, so that you can meet your goals throughout the day. It's like putting your armour on, as you go through the day, you get bombarded by all the trials and tribulations that we always face; those things don't hurt you anymore because you've got this strength that you're creating through these daily practices.

The number one thing that I recommend is that you start your day with some kind of meditation practice. I do my meditation before getting out of bed in the morning, as soon as I open my eyes, the first thing I do is meditate. This doesn't have to take a long time; it can be 10 to 15 minutes. There are different types of meditation you can do. I tried a mantra meditation, but it didn’t resonate that well with me, but I was experimenting and tried it. Mantra meditation is where you repeat a phrase over and over again in your head while meditating. It might be some kind of Sanskrit phrase that means something spiritual or it could simply be a daily mantra.

For instance, if you were trying to attract love into your life, you might say, “I am worthy of love. I am ready for love. I am excited for love”, and just repeating that over and over in your mind while you're meditating. The reason I don't resonate as well with mantra is the Buddhists refer to a thing called the monkey mind, which is basically when you're trying to meditate. That's when you start thinking about what you need to do for that day i.e. buying milk, are we running out of toilet paper, we’re having spaghetti for dinner, that sort of thing, that's the monkey mind. That's when your brain goes off and does other stuff, because it's not occupied enough by the meditation and I find that my monkey mind is particularly active.

So, I need to really focus when I'm meditating and to calm my monkey mind by giving it something to do. I find guided meditation particularly effective, because you're constantly listening to somebody's voice, essentially telling you what to do, and I find that a really effective way to meditate. Other people don't need anything at all, they just need some calming music and they can just go off into their own mind and meditate and that's great. There's lots of different ways you can meditate and I recommend you explore different types and find what works for you. Now I can hear you saying, “okay, I don't have time to meditate” and yeah, I get that but we’re talking 10 to 15 minutes a day. Set your alarm for 15 minutes earlier and just do it. It's not difficult, it won't make you sweat and it’s not going to hurt. You just need to get into the habit of doing it and seriously that 15 minutes a day will create such a difference in your life that you won't even miss the 15 minutes less sleep. So, if you do nothing else, absolutely you need to meditate on a daily basis to set your intentions for the day. When you finish your meditation, you're in a calm state and you're so much more ready to get on with your day and to face whatever it is that you're going to be facing that day.

The second thing that I recommend people do is look at a gratitude practice. Gratitude practice can be done either at the beginning of the day, straight after your meditation, or it can be done at the end of the day. I prefer to do it at the end of the day and that's why I talk about bookending your day. The beginning of the day is the meditation, the end of the day is the gratitude practice. All you need to do for your gratitude practice is think of what it is that you're grateful for that day. You can choose any number of things. Some people like to write down three things they're grateful for. Some people like to write down 10 things they’re grateful for. The number doesn't matter. What matters is that you stop and take stock each day and say, “what am I grateful for?” because gratitude raises your vibration, it helps you feel more positive about your life in general, and the more positive your life is, the more likely you are to meet your goals. It becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The more good stuff you do, the more good stuff happens. As you become more accepting of your life and you become more conscious of the gratitude that you have in your life, you'll start to see good in places that you never saw before. More and more, you'll see that your goals will start to snowball and you'll start meeting your goals. If you want to start your day with gratitude, then you can do a gratitude journaling practice. Straight after your meditation, free write for 10 to 15 minutes where you're just writing the sorts of things that you're grateful for and how things have been going in your life, what it is you're looking forward to, as well as what you're grateful for now. As I said, if you're going to do it at the end of the day, I find it useful to just end the day with what it is I'm grateful for today.

That's the gratitude practice you can use to bookend your day. You can do it at both ends of the day, there's no rules on how to do this. The whole idea of a daily success routine is for you to try things on, see what works, see what resonates with you and set aside the things that don't. It’s not a one size fits all prescription; it's about finding what works for you.

The other thing you need to do is set goals. Statistically, if you write your goals down, you're 42% more likely to achieve your goals. So, it's really important to write your goals down, but more than just writing goals down, you need to set an intention around your goals. For instance, if you had a goal to lose weight, you could say, “I want to lose 10 kilos in six weeks”. If that was your goal, well that's great, but essentially, it's just a number. A number is really hard to get excited about. If you set an intention, your much more likely to achieve the goal. What I mean by setting an intention is, why do you want to lose the weight? Is it that you want to be able to play with the kids? Is it that you want your clothes to fit better? Is it that you don’t like what you see in the mirror? What is it, what is the intention there? Once you understand the intention, the number doesn't quite matter as much, because it's possible to achieve that goal and achieve the intention of the goal without necessarily getting to an arbitrary number. It’s not about giving you wiggle room to not meet your goals, it’s about understanding why you’re doing this. Once you understand the intention, then it gives you a greater drive to reach your goal. There's a lot of research coming out around intention and how having intentions attached to our goals makes us way more likely to reach them, than if we don't understand the intention behind the them. So, it's really important to have goals and to write them down, as well as the intention behind the goals and understanding what the emotion is that you're going to feel when you meet that goal.

You don't need a massive list of goals; I find generally four or five goals is enough for most people. Those goals should be spread around different aspects of your life, not all work goals. You need personal goals as well. Your goals might be around health, relationships, work or family. There are different areas of your life that you may want to improve. If you write those goals out on a daily basis, you'll find that they become part of your daily practice. As you're working through your day, you're thinking about what it is you’re trying to achieve. Why am I doing this? Which goal am I'm trying to meet doing whatever it is I'm doing? By doing it on a daily basis, they become second nature.

 

You won’t need to think about your goals anymore, they’ll always be in the background, driving your behaviours. I read something recently that the difference between a millionaire and a billionaire is that the billionaire writes his goals out twice a day. So, the more often you write your goals the better, but at least once a day is a really effective practice to get into the habit of.

The next thing I want you to do is read. When I say read, I also mean listen, because I generally do most of my reading these days on audible or podcasts. When I say read, I don't just mean sitting with a book in your hand, what I mean is be inspired by other people. Find people that you resonate with, find people that inspire you and listen to what they've got to say.

Listen to podcasts, listen to audible books, read books, look at blogs, whatever it is that you’re doing, raise your vibration by being inspired by other people, because the more you're exposed to other people meeting their goals, the more it will instil a sense in you that meeting your goals is possible. It will raise your vibration in a positive way, so that you can make those goals and move through your day in a positive way. It's really important that you find people that inspire you so that you can be guided by them and be more positive.

The last thing I want you to do is literally get grounded. Spend time in nature, if you're lucky like we are, and you live on the coast, if you can get down on the sand, walk on the beach with your shoes off. You're literally grounding yourself into the earth and connecting back with nature. The benefits of this are amazing, and it's really important that you do this as often as possible. Whether it's walking in the bush or walking on the beach, just getting back to nature, and please take your headphones off, it's really important for you to just hear nature and just be alone with your thoughts. There’s a lot of research around allowing kids to get bored so they get more creative, it's the same with adults. Some of my best business ideas come to me when I'm out on a walk, because there's nothing else to distract me and you kind of get bored. When you get bored, that's when the ideas start to flow. If you can get out in nature and walk without your headphones, you'll find that thoughts just come to you, you’ll solve problems, you'll come up with new ideas. You'll think about people you haven't thought about for months and think, “oh, maybe I should contact that person”. There are all sorts of benefits to doing this as well as the physical benefits of being actually grounded back to the earth, which is really important for you to raise your vibration and to be more positive moving forward.

Essentially all those things together, create a daily success routine and the daily success routines, as I said, are like putting on your armour at the beginning of the day, so that as you go through your day, the things that come at you don't trouble you anymore. You're much more likely to meet your goals when you're in an environment where you can be successful and this daily success routine is the best way that I've found to be able to create that environment in which you can be successful and can meet your goals.

Give it a go. If you don't manage to do it every day, forgive yourself and move on. This isn't about creating something else for you to beat yourself up about, this is about creating an environment for you to be successful. So try it, see if you like it, adjust it and let me know how you go.

If you have any questions or need to get in touch email me at mel@coachmel.com.au.

Thanks for listening and see you next time.

Mel

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *