Blockages

Coach Mel - BlockagesHow can we find and eradicate blockages? Blockages can stop you from moving forward, but change doesn’t have to be hard. I’ll show you how to get rid of these blockages that’s easy and almost instant.

My seven-step process will help you find and eradicate these blockages. This is a meditative and an experiential process. It's going to feel like a coaching session and that's deliberate. Spend some time to find an issue that’s causing a blockage and we can go through this process together so you can feel how to actually do this.

Remember, change doesn’t have to be hard, but it can feel a little overwhelming at times. It won’t be the same as working with a coach face-to-face, but I think you will get what you need out of this process so that you can understand exactly how effective this process can be to get you through your blockages.

So, what are blockages? Often when I'm coaching people, there'll be an issue that they just can't get past, and we need to deal with that issue before they move forward and grow in order to meet their goals. This can be anything from a fear of flying or a fear of heights. It might be eating a whole block of chocolate once it’s opened or losing your temper. There's lots of different types of issues that you can have.

Step 1: Articulate the issue

Talk about the issue. In this case, we’re talking about the what not the why. It doesn't matter why you're angry or it doesn't matter why you’re afraid.

What emotion are you experiencing when the blockage is coming up? With a fear of heights, it's pretty obvious, it's generally the fear, that's the emotion you're feeling. But in the example of the chocolate, that can be a little bit more complex. What is it that you're feeling when you're eating the chocolate? You may notice what you're feeling is loneliness or perhaps you're feeling sadness, regret or shame. There are lots of things that can be attached to our compulsions and when you actually look closely at them, you can identify the emotion, and the only way to do that is to talk it through. This isn’t generally a technique you can do by yourself, it's something you would do with a coach or with a close friend, so that you can actually talk through the issue and identify the emotion.

There can be several emotions attached to an issue because our issues are often quite complex, and it's not necessarily going to boil down to one single emotion, there could be several. You really need to spend a fair amount of time on this first step. The other steps flow quite easily and quickly, but this first step is where you really need to take your time and really nut out the issue, look for the emotion and make sure that you understand exactly what it is that you're dealing with.

Step 2: Where does the emotion live in your body

Let's assume that we've done the first step and we've identified the emotion… we’ll go back to the chocolate example. Imagine that we've looked at the compulsion to eat the block of chocolate every night after dinner, and we've identified it as loneliness, which is actually quite a common emotion attached to overeating. What I want you to do now, is think about where that emotion lives in your body. Think about the emotion that you're feeling, think about the loneliness and when you feel loneliness, where is it in your body? Where do you actually experience that sensation? Is it in your stomach? Is it in your chest or shoulders? Identify where the emotion is.

Step 3: Welcome in the emotion

Now, I want you to put your hand on it, feel that emotion. I want you to actually welcome in the emotion. This can get scary and this is another reason why this is not necessarily a technique that you should do on your own, it's always good to have support through this process.

This is completely counterintuitive, because we are taught to suppress our emotions, to avoid them and run away from them. But what I want you to do is lean in and welcome in the emotion. Yes, it can be scary, but that's okay, it's not going to hurt you. With your hand on the part of your body where you're feeling that emotion, I want you to welcome it in.

Step 4: Observe it and allow it to expand

It will be like a balloon, it will start to expand and it may feel like it's going to overwhelm you, and that's okay, it won't. It’s going to be scary and that's completely normal, but just allow that emotion to expand and know that you're trusted, supported and you are safe, but just allow that emotion to expand. Just like a balloon, the more it expands, eventually it will burst.

Step 5: The emotion will dissipate

People have said “oh, it’s gone. Where did it go?” That's exactly the process that we're looking for, it will just disappear. People will often say there's a stillness, an emptiness or it's like a vacuum. A vacuum is exactly what it is. The emotion has gone and there is now a space where it was. Now nature abhors a vacuum, and we know that from science. What we need to do is choose a new feeling to put in that space. So, you've still got your hand on your body where the emotion was and there's an emptiness there now, where that emotion used to be.

Step 6: Choose a new feeling

Now, choose a new feeling. That feeling can be peace, love, happiness or joy. It doesn't matter what feeling you choose to replace it. It’s like when you declutter your wardrobe, you empty out your clothes and now there’s space. Have you noticed the space tends to fill up again, but it doesn’t fill up with motorbikes for example, it tends to fill up with more clothes because that’s what’s meant to go in that space. It’s the same with these emotions. If you don’t replace that space with something, there will be an empty space, and because that empty space was previously labelled as loneliness or anger, that’s what you’ll attract back into that space. So, you need to fill that space with something positive so there’s no space for the anger or loneliness to come back to.

Step 7: Welcome in that positive emotion

We’re now going to welcome in that positive emotion and put it where the previous emotion was. This is a conscious process. You need to be prepared to live with this emotion and that should be fairly easy given that it's peace, love, happiness or joy. Welcome it in and consciously feel it, fill the space where the old emotion was. You'll start to feel that emotion, you'll feel that sense of peace, that sense of joy or that sense of happiness. The issue that you had previously will no longer be there. People are often amazed at how simple it is to remove the emotion. You may find there might be a couple of emotions attached to a specific issue and you may need to go through this process a couple of times with different emotions, but once it's gone, it generally doesn't come back again.

This is a really simple and easy process to get you through a blockage so that you can move forward and meet your goals.

If you have any questions or need to get in touch email me at mel@coachmel.com.au.

Thanks for listening and see you next time.

Mel

Coach Mel - BlockagesHow can we find and eradicate blockages? Blockages can stop you from moving forward, but change doesn’t have to be hard. I’ll show you how to get rid of these blockages that’s easy and almost instant.

My seven-step process will help you find and eradicate these blockages. This is a meditative and an experiential process. It's going to feel like a coaching session and that's deliberate. Spend some time to find an issue that’s causing a blockage and we can go through this process together so you can feel how to actually do this.

Remember, change doesn’t have to be hard, but it can feel a little overwhelming at times. It won’t be the same as working with a coach face-to-face, but I think you will get what you need out of this process so that you can understand exactly how effective this process can be to get you through your blockages.

So, what are blockages? Often when I'm coaching people, there'll be an issue that they just can't get past, and we need to deal with that issue before they move forward and grow in order to meet their goals. This can be anything from a fear of flying or a fear of heights. It might be eating a whole block of chocolate once it’s opened or losing your temper. There's lots of different types of issues that you can have.

Step 1: Articulate the issue

Talk about the issue. In this case, we’re talking about the what not the why. It doesn't matter why you're angry or it doesn't matter why you’re afraid.

What emotion are you experiencing when the blockage is coming up? With a fear of heights, it's pretty obvious, it's generally the fear, that's the emotion you're feeling. But in the example of the chocolate, that can be a little bit more complex. What is it that you're feeling when you're eating the chocolate? You may notice what you're feeling is loneliness or perhaps you're feeling sadness, regret or shame. There are lots of things that can be attached to our compulsions and when you actually look closely at them, you can identify the emotion, and the only way to do that is to talk it through. This isn’t generally a technique you can do by yourself, it's something you would do with a coach or with a close friend, so that you can actually talk through the issue and identify the emotion.

There can be several emotions attached to an issue because our issues are often quite complex, and it's not necessarily going to boil down to one single emotion, there could be several. You really need to spend a fair amount of time on this first step. The other steps flow quite easily and quickly, but this first step is where you really need to take your time and really nut out the issue, look for the emotion and make sure that you understand exactly what it is that you're dealing with.

Step 2: Where does the emotion live in your body

Let's assume that we've done the first step and we've identified the emotion… we’ll go back to the chocolate example. Imagine that we've looked at the compulsion to eat the block of chocolate every night after dinner, and we've identified it as loneliness, which is actually quite a common emotion attached to overeating. What I want you to do now, is think about where that emotion lives in your body. Think about the emotion that you're feeling, think about the loneliness and when you feel loneliness, where is it in your body? Where do you actually experience that sensation? Is it in your stomach? Is it in your chest or shoulders? Identify where the emotion is.

Step 3: Welcome in the emotion

Now, I want you to put your hand on it, feel that emotion. I want you to actually welcome in the emotion. This can get scary and this is another reason why this is not necessarily a technique that you should do on your own, it's always good to have support through this process.

This is completely counterintuitive, because we are taught to suppress our emotions, to avoid them and run away from them. But what I want you to do is lean in and welcome in the emotion. Yes, it can be scary, but that's okay, it's not going to hurt you. With your hand on the part of your body where you're feeling that emotion, I want you to welcome it in.

Step 4: Observe it and allow it to expand

It will be like a balloon, it will start to expand and it may feel like it's going to overwhelm you, and that's okay, it won't. It’s going to be scary and that's completely normal, but just allow that emotion to expand and know that you're trusted, supported and you are safe, but just allow that emotion to expand. Just like a balloon, the more it expands, eventually it will burst.

Step 5: The emotion will dissipate

People have said “oh, it’s gone. Where did it go?” That's exactly the process that we're looking for, it will just disappear. People will often say there's a stillness, an emptiness or it's like a vacuum. A vacuum is exactly what it is. The emotion has gone and there is now a space where it was. Now nature abhors a vacuum, and we know that from science. What we need to do is choose a new feeling to put in that space. So, you've still got your hand on your body where the emotion was and there's an emptiness there now, where that emotion used to be.

Step 6: Choose a new feeling

Now, choose a new feeling. That feeling can be peace, love, happiness or joy. It doesn't matter what feeling you choose to replace it. It’s like when you declutter your wardrobe, you empty out your clothes and now there’s space. Have you noticed the space tends to fill up again, but it doesn’t fill up with motorbikes for example, it tends to fill up with more clothes because that’s what’s meant to go in that space. It’s the same with these emotions. If you don’t replace that space with something, there will be an empty space, and because that empty space was previously labelled as loneliness or anger, that’s what you’ll attract back into that space. So, you need to fill that space with something positive so there’s no space for the anger or loneliness to come back to.

Step 7: Welcome in that positive emotion

We’re now going to welcome in that positive emotion and put it where the previous emotion was. This is a conscious process. You need to be prepared to live with this emotion and that should be fairly easy given that it's peace, love, happiness or joy. Welcome it in and consciously feel it, fill the space where the old emotion was. You'll start to feel that emotion, you'll feel that sense of peace, that sense of joy or that sense of happiness. The issue that you had previously will no longer be there. People are often amazed at how simple it is to remove the emotion. You may find there might be a couple of emotions attached to a specific issue and you may need to go through this process a couple of times with different emotions, but once it's gone, it generally doesn't come back again.

This is a really simple and easy process to get you through a blockage so that you can move forward and meet your goals.

If you have any questions or need to get in touch email me at mel@coachmel.com.au.

Thanks for listening and see you next time.

Mel

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